Corona Saga: Lock Down - 8th Day

Twas the Eighth Day of the Lock Down. Cone Man power-walked to the lookout at the crest of the Hill of the Gods. He encountered and counted 33 others walking on the same hill. Keeping his distance he hailed each fellow walker they passed him by. Some gaily returned his greeting while others strode by, indifferent to his offered bonhomie.

Unfazed by the varying reactions of his fellow walkers, Cone Man returned to his man cave and pondered the suffering of his fellow human beings. "Cold is the heart that feels nothing for the suffering of others" Cone Man cone-sidered.

Suffering was indeed multiplying. The Land of the All Black Tribe faced the prospect of 11 per cent unemployment following in the wake of the terrible Coronavirus Monster. Cone Man had last seen that level of unemployment during the Recession of 1991-1994. He had worked in a supermarket in the Land of the Aucks to survive that period.

Cone Man understandably sympathized with supermarket staff who were overworked, underpaid, endangered and abused. Their abusers apparently saw nothing wrong with continuing to eat from the very shelves that the supermarket workers stacked.

Himself an aspiring writer, he also sympathized with the hundreds of Legend Bearers who were informed that their legends would no longer required. The Paper Lords saw the catastrophic collapse in revenue from advertising and had no choice but to let the Legend Bearers bear the shock of this legendary catastrophe.

"Legend bearing may not be much of a job" Cone Man mused "but it sure beats stacking supermarket shelves for a living … "

Corona Saga: Lock Down - 7th Day

Twas the Seventh Day of the Lock Down. In happier and more frivolous times it was known as "April Fool's Day". Unhappy and less frivolous people known as accountants referred to it as The Start of the Financial Year.

Human nature, a strange phenomenon that baffled accountants, showed its irresponsible, anti-social side as many flouted the rules of the Lock Down to gather in crowds at parks and beaches. This sort of thing would prolong the tyranny of the terrible Coronavirus Monster and kill even more members of the All Black Tribe, and Cinda had very good cause to be Hard, Stern and Unamused.

Cone Man feared that the irresponsibility of the few would lead to the curtailment of the one remaining freedom of the many - leaving home for solitary exercise. Suspecting that he would not have to wait long before his worst fears were realised, Cone Man resolved to enjoy what little freedom he could while time allowed.

Cone Man set himself the regime of riding his not particularly mighty steed once every two days and 'power walking' on the days in between. In both cases he would not travel more than two kilometres from his man cave. The power walk could be a round trip to the crest of the Hill of the Gods, while the ride would involve riding to a 600 metre stretch of culvert and riding back and forth on the grass bank.

Cone Man also continued his other exercises. "Is there a problem here?" mused the pondering, pontificating, post-penning, pressing, power-walking, pedalling, planker of Parkway ...

Corona Saga: Lock Down - 6th Day

Twas the Sixth Day of the Lock Down. The mounting global death toll defied hurmourous description, and Cone Man knew humour was callous under the circumstances. so he turned his attention to the many inconsequential trivialities of the 'New Normal'.

A fascinating aspect of the 'New Normal' was the extent to which people found how much could be done without physically leaving home. Witchdoctors interviewed patients virtually. Teachers taught classes that were geographically dispersed and over one million children were both truants and students with the full, approving knowledge of their parents.

Other jobs, however, could not be done from home, yet nevertheless had to be done. Supermarket employees were numbered among the heroes of the hour. Overnight, the newfound danger of their profession, combined with the necessity of their work, rendered them the status of an elite force - soldiers fighting in the frontline of the war against the Coronavirus Monster. "Who important and who is not is merely a matter of dates and circumstances" Cone Man marvelled ...

Corona Saga: Lock Down - 5th day

Twas The Fifth Day of the Lock Down. As was the case with wars, sieges, revolutions, famines and other crises, people found the initial excitement replaced by a gradual acceptance of the dreaded 'New Normal'.

The problem was that nobody knew what the 'New Normal' was. Just how long was the 'New Normal' going to go on? Cinda the Hard and Stern declared that international travel would be restricted until the Witchdoctors devised a 'vaccine' to defeat the Coronavirus Monster - which could take as long as 18 months!

Pressing issues focused the minds of many in the meantime. Formerly safe employments had evaporated as quickly as a morning mist. Mortgages, although suspended,remained two haunt the minds of the confined.

Economic angst was general as well as particular. Everyone knew that the All Black Tribe depended heavily on the proceeds of tourism, export education and airlines.

The land of the All Black tribe may have been an archipelago of Antipodean islands but it was definitely no island in the economic storm. The world financial system was already grossly over leveraged. With trade collapsing everywhere, how, long would it be before the world's financial system collapsed?

Cone Man may have been an island of sanity in the storm (others may have begged to differ) but deep down inside he knew that his secluded man cave was ultimately no Island from the storm ...

Corona Saga: Lock Down - 4th Day

Twas the Fourth Day of the Lock Down and the Legend Bearers reported that 30000 people had been killed by the Corona virus Monster across the world. Over 600000 others had been bitten by the malignant Beast.

The Legend Bearers where merely doing their jobs, yet were not really doing their jobs. Legends emanating from the Legend Bearers were often anecdotal, sensationalist, alarmist, and lacking in careful analysis and fact-checking.

The Legend Bearers were struggling to tell this new legend. The Legend of the Coronavirus Monster was so unprecedented, epic and at a speed that even the most experienced, professional and objective of the Legend Bearers reeled under the daily deluge of information.

The Legend Bearers could not be condemned for suffering the limitations of being merely human, Cone Man cone-sidered. The problem was that their failings led to the exacerbation of two existing problems.

One section of the population, through intellectual laziness, gullibility or sympathy with the biases of the Legend Bearers, tended to swallow poorly researched and prepared legends. The other section of the population, through ingrained cynicism and abhorrence of the biases of the Legend Bearers, tended to dismiss their legends as "fake news".

Reflecting tiredly on these to very different reactions to the same phenomenon Cone Man muttered to himself "You may judge for yourself which is the greater folly ..."

Corona Saga: Lock Down - 3rd Day

Twas the Third Day of the Lock down. 2 1/2 billion people were cowering in their homes in terror of the terrible Coronavirus Monster. The world cried out for a hero to show them the way forward.

Cometh the hour cometh the man! In the social media sky a strange figure was seen. Was it a bird? Was it a sky canoe? No.

He did press ups; he did sit-ups; he planked; he pondered; he pompously pontificated; he penned Facebook posts ... he was Cone Man the Destroyer of Boredom! He also suffered from delusions of grandeur, but that was another matter ...

Corona Saga: Lock Down - 2nd Day

Twas the second day of the lockdown. The Great People's War against the terrible Coronavirus Monster escalated!

Border closures, lockdowns and general uncertainty forced 3.2 million workers to file unemployment claims in the Land of the Stars and Stripes Tribe. The Oceanias closef the borders of their islands to visitors and locked down their populations.

The Oceanians even banned gatherings at temples weddings and funerals. This was a remarkable departure from their settled customs but these were unsettling times.

Tribesmen of all tribes found themselves trapped within the borders of other tribes. The Chieftains of the Teutonic tribe began sending sky canoes to the Land of the All Black Tribe to rescue the 12000 Teutonic tourists trapped in the suddenly dystopian Antipodes.

Cone Man was powerless to do anything more noble or heroic than halve his food portions and institute an daily exercise regime. "28 days is a long time to be trapped in a house with the terrible Middle-aged Midlife Mounting Midriff Monster" he mused ...